Revelación en tono de La

Me encontré, entre apurones, a la madre del cuervo y de una de las flores de la costa, que felicitación va, agradecimiento viene, me dice:
-"Después mandame la poesía"
-"Cuál?"- digo yo confundida, porque había leído dos textos en prosa (Después me di cuenta de que el que tenía dos páginas de largo no pasaba por poesí ni a palos) a lo que me contesta
-"El que era de amor"
Y entonces, mientras formulaba una respuesta coherente, me quedé pensando: ¿sería de amor? yo hubiera dicho que era de odio.

Quizás sí fuera de amor...

Porque eres dos:
uno de ellos
y uno mío.
Pero cuando estás con ellos
y conmigo
eres el de ellos,
no eres el mío.
¿Qué hay de mí?
Supongo que prefieres ser de ellos…
Entonces pueder irte
y olvidarte de mí
porque, aunque yo creí que sí,
parece que nunca fuiste mío.

Delirio Nº 3

de las suposiciones que no deberían pasar por mi cabeza, sino por la tuya.

(Shake it up)
I never loved nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting my heart truly
I got lost
In the sounds

I hear in my mind
All these voices
I hear in my mind
All these words
I hear in my mind
All this music
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my ha-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-aart
And it breaks my ha-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-aart

Suppose I never ever met you
Suppose we never fell in love
Suppose I never ever let you
Kiss me so sweet
And so so-o-o-o-oft

Suppose I never ever saw you
Suppose you never ever called
Suppose I kept on singing love songs
Just to break
My own fall
Just to break my fa-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-aall
Just to break my fa-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-aall
Just to break my fa-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-aall
Break my fall
Break my fall

All my friends say
That of course it's
Gonna get beh'uh
Gonna get beh'uh
Beh'uh, beh'uh, beh'uh, beh'uh
Behtur, bettur, betterrrr, ohhh...

I never loved nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting my heart truly
I got lost
In the sounds

I hear in my mind
All these voices
I hear in my mind
All these words
I hear in my mind
All this music
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
I hear in my mind
All of these voices
I hear in my mind
All of these words
I hear in my mind
All of this music
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
It breaks my ha-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-aart
And it breaks my ha, ah, ah, ah, art
And it breaks my ha-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-aart
And it breaks my heart
Breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart

- Fidelity, Regina Spektor

Me cansé.
Me cansé de no verte.
Me cansé de extrañarte.
Me cansé de no tenerte.
Pero sobre todo, me cansé de vos.

Y me había jurado que nunca lo iba a hacer...

And I'd give up forever to touch you, 'cause I know that you feel me somehow. You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be, and I don't want to go home right now.

And all I can taste is this moment, and all I can breathe is your life,
and sooner or later it's over, I just don't want to miss you tonight.

And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.

And you cant fight the tears that ain't coming, or the moment of the truth in your lies. When everything feels like the movies, yeah you bleed just to know you're alive.

And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.

Relexión Nº 6

Tengo una enorme capacidad para ser una pelotuda. Y para olvidarme de lo que sentía cuando empiezo a sentir otra cosa.

Te soñé, demasiado, y ahora no puedo sacarme el sueño, ni lo que siento, de la cabeza.

Y mil palabras de mi boca romperían tu corazón,
pero una simple palabra tuya arreglaría el mío.

maybe i would, maybe i'm not...

you never know what you want and you never say what you mean, but i started to go insane everytime that you look at me. you only hear half of what i say and your always showing up to late and i know that i should say goodbye but is no use can't be with or without you.
so how did you get here under my skin? swear that i'll never let you back in. should have know better than trying to let you go 'couse here i go, go, go again. hard as i try i know i can't quit, something about you is so addictive. we're falling toghether, you'll think that by now i'll know, 'couse here we go, go, go again.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ (aunque el magenta no exista como onda)

TRAUMA

el miedo de decir lo que pienso, de pensar lo que digo, de que pienses distinto.
pero si yo dejara de quererte tanto...

Is amazing

how your hands fit perfectly into mines, and how the only touch of them make all my doubts fade away.

no one can change this heart of mine ♥

you fled from medication cuz it only causes pain
you won't go to the doctor he keeps calling you insane
you're lost even when you're going the right way
you mean the world to me even though you might be crazy
and you said we wouldn't make it, but look how far we've come
for so long my heart was breaking, but now we're standing strong
the things you say, make me fall harder each day
you're a trainwreck, but I wouldn't love you if you changed
I shook your hand and you pulled it right away
you asked me to dance instead, I said "No way!"
inside I was dying to give it a try and you begged me so I stay
I knew you were different from the way I caved
we were so different but opposites attract
so my hope kept growing and I never looked back
you're one of a kind
no one can change this heart of mine ♥
one more thing I thought I'd share with someone special
I'm falling like I've never fell before
it's funny you said we'd never make it but look how far we've come
You're a trainwreck but with you, I'm in love

Delirio Nº 2

De las cosas que uno no debería hacer:

Quererte tanto

Head under water
And you tell me
To breathe easy for a while
The breathing gets harder
Even I know that
Made room for me
It's too soon to see
If I'm happy in your hands
I'm unusually hard to hold on to

Blank stares at blank pages
No easy way to say this
You mean well but you make this hard on me

I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you ask for it
'Cause you need one
You see, I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or break in this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leavin'
I'm gonna need a better reason
To write you a love song
Today
Today...

I learned the hard way
That they all say
Things you wanna hear
My heavy heart sinks deep down under
You and your twisted words
Your help just hurts
You are not what I thought you were
Hello to high and dry

Convinced me to please you
Made me think that I need this too
I'm trying to let you hear me as I am

I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one
You see, I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or break in this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leavin'
I'm gonna need a better reason
To write you a love song today

Promise me
You'll leave the light on
To help me see
With daylight, my guide, gone
'Cause I believe
There's a way
You can love me
Because I say

I won't write you a love song
'Cause you ask for it
'Cause you need one
You see, I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or break in this
Is that why you wanted a love song?
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one
You see I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or break in this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If your heart is nowhere in it
I don't want it for a minute
Babe, I walk the seven seas
When I believe that there's a reason to write you a love song
Today.
Today...

-Love Song, Sara Bareilles

Delirio Nº 1:

De las confeciones que uno no debería hacer:

Don't know much about your life
Don't know much about your world but
Don't want to be alone tonight
On this planet they call earth.

You don't know about my past
And I don't have a future figured out
And maybe this is going too fast
And maybe it's not meant to last

But what do you say to taking chances?
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or a hand to hold, or hell to pay
What do you say?
What do you say?

I just want to start again
Maybe you can show me how to try
Maybe you could take me in
Somewhere underneath your skin

What do you say to taking chances?
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or a hand to hold, or hell to pay
What do you say?
What do you say?

And I had my heart beaten down
But I always come back for more, yeah
There's nothing like love to pull you up
When you're lying down on the floor, yeah
So talk to me, talk to me
Like lovers do
Yeah walk with me, walk with me
Like lovers do.
Like lovers do.

What do you say to taking chances?
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
And never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or a hand to hold, or hell to pay
What do you say?
What do you say?

Don't know much about your life,
And I don't know much about your world.

-Taking Chances, Glee

Dreams, Dreams

today in the morning, thinking about you, my head started to go round, my chest started to get small around my ugly-fast beating heart, and my stomach began to ache of anxiety.
I don't know what the HELL i feel for you, i only know that everytime i get to see you, i believe myself in HEAVEN.

sometimes i feel like crying, i thought i was over you

Río Cuarto, 20 hs.

Escuchando esta canción me hizo acordar a mi amor de verano, al que nunca que le dije que me volvía loca cada vez que escuchaba el celular con el tono de mensaje creyendo que era él, al que tenía que subirle la autoestima porque se hacía el víctima. Con el que tengo tantas cosas en común. Cosas que me contó a mi y a melina sentado en la cama de enfrente a la que estábamos nosotras en la habitación comunitaria de un hotel destartalado en un pueblito tranquilo de Córdoba. Entró pidiendo permiso y preguntando: "¿Qué hacen?". Con total sinceridad respondimos: "Hablamos de chicos", porque era lo que estábamos haciendo... "¿Estaban hablando de mí?" "NOOOOOOOOO...." Sí, estábamos hablando de vos, de que con total amabilidad habías ayudado a melina a salir de su momento difícil, de que le habías hecho decir la verdad que no le había dicho a nadie, de que no la habías juzgado, en cambio la habías hecho reír (vos y el otro chico que estaba con vos), de que eras la persona más dulce que yo había conocido en algún tiempo. Cuando contestamos nos reímos, te ofrecimos un mate y nos pusimos a charlar de mil y una cosas, pasado, presente y futuro; de chicos, de chicas, de salidas, de traumas de la infancia en el jardín y en la primaria, de síndrome timidez agudo, de chicas y de chicos de nuevo, de los exámenes, de la nacional, del colegio, de nosotras y de vos. Entonces entendí que eramos más similares de lo que nos habíamos dejado ver uno al otro, la noche anterior al examen, cuando habíamos cenado sentados juntos; de que habíamos sufrido lo mismo, de que estábamos pasando por las mismas situaciones, de que nos gustaban las mismas cosas, de que me gustabas. Los días siguientes cualquiera habría afirmado y re-afirmado que era mutuo, pero yo nunca lo supe. Estábamos siempre juntos (vos, yo, melina y el otro chico que estaba con vos) corriendo por las calles del pueblo o haciendo estragos en el hotel; pretendiendo tirar un panda de felpa de china (en serio, de china) por la ventana para que el otro chico que estaba con vos entrara en pánico, o repasando las partes de las células animales. Melina, el otro chico que estaba con vos y los demás compañeros se las arreglaron para dejarnos solos adentro de una galería, para quedarnos vagando por el pueblo hasta que nos hartaron de pedirnos la yerba mate que él tenía en su mochila. La noche anterior al práctico y el día del práctico las cosas fueron diferentes, no fue hasta antes de subirme al micro para volverme a Mar del Plata que me dí cuenta de que podía llegar a ser mutuo, y de que te iba a extrañar mucho más de lo que había planificado.
Todo esto está en realidad muy mezclado en mi mente, puede que lo primero hubiera sido lo último, pero recuerdo cada momento. El hecho escuchando esta canción me recordó lo que sentía cuando aún estaba en Córdoba, y aunque ahora no me vuelvas tan loca y las distancias sean muy grandes, vos siempre vas a tener la hebilla que me robaste antes de volver al hotel una de aquellas tardes, siempre vas a ser el dueño de medio par de ganchitos para el pelo.

Oxigen - Colbie Caillat (click para escucharla)

I came apart inside a world
Made of angry people
I found a boy
Who had a dream making everyone smile
He was sunshine
I fell over
My feet like bricks under water
and How am I supposed to tell you how I feel?
I need oxygen

Oh baby, if I was your lady
I would make you happy
I'm never gonna leave, never gonna leave
Oh baby, I will be your lady
I am going crazy for you

And so I found a state of mind
Where I could be speechless
I had to try for a while
To figure out this feeling
This felt so right
Pull me upside
Down to a place where you've been waiting
and How am I supposed to tell you how I feel?
I need oxygen

Oh baby, if I was your lady
I would make you happy
I'm never gonna leave, never gonna leave
Oh baby, I will be your lady
I am going crazy for you

And you don't wanna keep me waiting
Staring at my fingers
Feeling like a fool

Oh baby, I will be your lady
I will make you happy
I'm never gonna leave, never gonna leave
Oh baby, I will be your lady
I am going crazy

Tell me what you want
Baby, Tell me what you need
Anything I ask, baby give it to me
Baby give it to me, give it to me

I came apart inside a world
Made of angry people
I found a boy
Who had a dream making everyone smile.